It ain’t necessarily so

Well where do you think I’ve been? Watching Celebrity Big Brother of course! My favourite quote of the series – Shilpa to Jade: “Patronising is the wrong word sweetie!" followed by Jack to Dirk: “Wots patronising mean?” All I can say is I'm almost certain that it’s all done in the best passsible taste.

So look at me, working my fingers to the bone with this student business. Ahem. Well, I am being fairly seriously studious, maintaining a strict 8.30-6.30 study day, with the occasional break for a sponge finger. Let me work backwards and see how far I get recalling what I’ve been up to.

Last night H and I went to see Porgy and Bess at the Savoy Theatre. What a show. I love a bit of Gershwin, but this whole production is incredibly well-staged and what an amazing cast. I had a tear in my eye on more than one occasion and it wasn’t because I was sitting near the air-conditioning. I loves ya Porgy.

Day before that I spent studying at home. Day before that was Tuesday and I went into town to join the Warburg Library. This is now the fifth library I’ve joined since October – it’s a hard habit to break. It was somewhat musty, a tad dusty, and the librarian wasn’t at all busty so nobody got lusty. As it turned out my brain had gone rusty. Outside it was gusty. That’s quite enough of that thank you. After about three hours of struggling with dry, brain-numbing descriptions of the Counter Reformation, I walked dejectedly to Birkbeck and scooped up some more rather dull-looking tomes and made my weary way homeward.

Went to the photography exhibition called In the Face of History: European Photographers in the 20th Century on Saturday avec J. What a whopper. It would have taken at least a whole day to have done it all justice. By 4pm we were ready for sharpener and headed off to Chalk Farm for a pint of Rioja in the company of Chris Moyles and Jon Culshaw amongst other people who should be safely locked inside the CBB house in Elstree by rights. Before the photography exhibition, we checked out the Richard Wilson installation called Pile Up consisting of Trailer Trash, Hot Dog Roll (Alright Neville) and Meter’s Running. Photos didn’t turn out so hot, but you get the idea?

Day before that I went to Birmingham upon a train. I had to be at the Barber Institute by 11.30am and it was a bit of a trek. Still, made it there in time for a milk chocolate digestive and a tour – there’s a wonderful gallery there with examples of work by Bellini, Rubens, Tintoretto, Van Dyke, Cuyp, Steen, Gainsborough, Turner, Ruisdael, Manet, Dalacroix, Rousseau, Degas, Courbet, Corot, Millet, Whistler, Rossetti, Toulouse-Lautrec, Renoir, Van Gogh, Bonnard, Sickert, Magritte, Gauguin, Ingres, Monet, Derain…to name but a few. I could have stayed there all day – but no – we had to push on to the Birmingham Art Gallery. My travelling companion fancied fish and chips, but there wasn’t really enough time, and we ended up stuffing it down in three minutes and running into the gallery with bits of batter stuck to our faces and scorched palates.

I’ve been here before, and it’s a treasure house of Pre-Raphaelite art. Oh they're all there (when they're not on loan) although it gets a bit confusing because most of the PRB masterpieces were painted more than once, so I often think I’ve seen this before somewhere else – and I’m probably right. But there you go. Back on the train and home in time for Shilpa.

Started my new module last week – The Art of Persuasion – which is all about the debates surrounding religious imagery from the Renaissance to the Baroque. It’s a lot more interesting than it sounds – honest guv. I am going to be giving a presentation on the Martyrdom Cycles in a few weeks – so standby to hear all about that – being boiled alive, that kind of thing. Nice.

Oh - nearly forgot - spent a morning whizzing down the slides at Tate Modern again last week - well it is art afterall. And it's free. Then went to the David Hockney portrait exhibiton at the NPG which is superb. Spent a fine evening in a most excellent pub in Kennington to boot. All splendid.

That’s enough about me. Tell me about you.

I think I left my slippers under the chaise longue.

I'm pleased to report that my essay on Reception Theory has gone. Actually, I finished it on Friday, when it was printed and bound, so I didn't have to think about it again all weekend. What a relief for everybody concerned!

On Saturday I went to the British Library again - I can't stay away - to start researching my next subject - religious imagery and the Catholic Reformation. I love a bit of Baroque and Rococo don't you? At the same time as launching myself into Caravaggio and Bernini, I have to begin my research project. More on that later.

For the rest of the weekend I gave myself a break from study, and generally lolled around reading newspapers, listening to music and watching...I'm almost ashamed to say it...Celebrity Big Brother. Yeap - completely hooked - more addictive than heroin. Alright Jackiey?

Yesterday I delivered my essay to the college office, then met up with the rest of the crowd for post-essay-submission celebrations in the SU Bar...ah, smells like teen spirit.

Oh - and Happy Birthday for yesterday David.

And I will type 5000 words and I will type 5000 more...

What day is it for goodness sakes? Thursday. Right then - so what happened to Tuesday and Wednesday? Gawd only knows. I've been banging away (steady!) at this essay like a man possessed. Tuesday - just essay. That's all I did. From the time I got up until the time I went to bed - oh actually I did stop to watch This Life...10 Years On which was outstanding. Brought back lots of memories and sent shivers down my ginger wine. I particularly enjoyed seeing the old gang prancing around drunkenly to the Manics in Miles' ridiculously posh garden. Ah, them were the days...Our Design for Life and all that. At least Egg's still got good taste, listening The Kills as he chops up his veggies. Best line - Miles: 'Who are the Kaiser cheeses?'

On Wednesday I was at the Guildhall Gallery by opening time to spend a couple of hours in the company of Frith's The Derby Day, Life at the Seaside (Ramsgate Sands) and The Railway Station. I scribbled down lots of notes and then shot off to the British Library to wade through the mountain of books which had accumulated on my request list. What a productive way to spend a day...and what better in the evening that a dose of Celebrity Big Brother? High brow to low brow - who doesn't want Leo Sayer to win - although I am tempted to back Cleo cos Kenny would've liked it.

Ah, that brings me to today, and miraculously I can still remember what I did today! I finished writing my flapping essay! Hur-bloody-rah. It's too long - well over 6000 words when the maximum is 5000 - but who gives a tinker's cuss? I can delete can't I? That's easy - highlight - delete - I can do that. Is it any good - who can say? Better than the last one I think - in fact I'm a bit embarrassed by the last one now - don't think it was MA standard - probably more GCSE standard. Oh well, water under the bridge and all that. Right, I'd better go and take that Christmas tree down or that will be unlucky or something.


The pictures this year are, on the whole, going to be entirely random by the way - just things that catch my eye, like rusty nails at head height.

2007 (and I can remember 1997, 1987, 1977...scary)

I'm back! Have you missed me? I thought not.

Had a great Christmas and New Year thanks for asking - ate lots of rich food, drank lots of fine wine, spent a lot of time in bed dreaming, read a book, wrote an essay, got presents, gave presents...and er, now that's all behind us we can concentrate on 2007. Call me Clare Voyant, but I've got a good feeling in me waters about it.

So, without further ado: New Year's Day. I walked Jude, feeling slightly zombie-fied after last night's indulgences, but there you go. I was in a chirpy mood considering, and startled other bleary-eyed dogwalkers by merrily wishing them a cheery good morning. Back indoors and back under the duvet to finish reading The Long Firm by Jake Arnott. I am so disappointed to finish it - I have loved this book and it has been my companion through the 'holiday period'. I suggest you give it a whirl.

I cleared up from last night, worked a little on my essay, then took Jude off to Greenwich Park to scare the living daylights out of the grey squirrel population which now quakes with fear at the sound of her doggy footsteps. It were luverly: the sky was blue, the world and his wife (who's put on a bit of weight over Christmas) were out and everybody seemed happy - which is unusual. Now I am exhausted and planning an evening of relaxation.

So that was Christmas and New Year. Out with the old and in with new, or something borrowed in my case. Who wants to go for a beer?